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BREAKING NEWS: Ortiz Breaks 400 Sox HR’s

Tonight David Ortiz, long time nightmare of the Cardinals, hit his 400th and 401st career homerun in Boston.

Ortiz hit well over .700 during the 2013 World Series and single-handedly brought down the birds. Although he actually has 459 home runs, this is only the third Red Sock (singular of Red Sox?) to hit 400 homers with Boston. Ted Williams and Carl Yastrzemski are the only two other players to accomplish such a feat.

Even a bitter Card’s fan has to offer a salute. So, for the night, I am a Papi fan.

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